Self Love: 20 Self Care Tips For When You’re Feeling Down.

“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.”– Pema Chodron.

I had this whole “self love”series all planned out for the blog, but lately I’ve been feeling everything BUT self love. You know that feeling you get when you just don’t feel like you’re enough? Pretty enough, smart enough, ACCOMPLISHED enough . . . Yeah, that’s where I’m at right now. It feels like everything and everyone around me is moving and progressing and I’m just here.

I don’t know about you, but self loathing is not my thing. When I start to feel like this, I have to get up and do something. By something, I mean ANYTHING besides feeling sorry for myself. Below is a list of things I do personally to get me out of a funk that may also help you.

20 self care tips for when you're feeling down

1.Take a hot shower.
I don’t know about you, but I do some of my best thinking in the shower. That and having good hygiene makes me feel better as a person.

2. Clean and reorganize.
It’s just something about a nice clean living space that makes you feel like you have your shit together, even when you don’t.

3. Write in your journal.
We live in an time when everything is broadcasted on social media. Putting a pen/pencil to paper when you’re feeling down is healthier and you won’t have to worry about someone taking a screenshot of it for later.

Nothing beats curling up on the sofa with a blanket and a good book!

5. Put everything on DND.
Sometimes it’s best to just unplug for a few hours and spend time with yourself with no calls, texts, or dms.

6. Meditate.
Meditation reduces stress and helps with controlling anxiety. Redirecting your thoughts is a good practice to have when you’re not feeling like yourself.

7. At home spa day.
I mean who doesn’t like a spa day?

8. Go for a walk.
Going for a quick walk around the neighborhood or the local track can help clear your mind and burn calories at the same time. Two birds, one stone.

9. Deep clean your phone.
“Same phone, who dis?” Sometimes you just have to do a factory reset. Clean out the pictures, contacts, and apps you don’t need anymore.

10. Make a playlist of songs that make you happy.
Music always makes things 100 times better.

11. Cry.
Whoever said “big girls don’t cry” was WRONG! We do cry, and sometimes we get even (totally not recommending the latter).

12. Retail therapy.
I’m not saying blow an entire paycheck, new shoes usually does the trick. Window shopping is definitely an option as well.

13.Binge watch your favorite TV shows.
So, I’ve been bouncing back in forth between One Tree Hill and A Different World. Both are my favs, both make my drama seem like nothing.

14. Take a break from social media.
Social media is great, but sometimes it can make situations worse. Taking a break from all social media every now and then is a must.

15. Exercise.
Endorphins are mood lifters, exercising increases your level of endorphins, so exercising makes you feel better. . . Sweating and lack of oxygen aside.

16. Clean your email inbox.
Seriously, just trust me on this one.

17. Distance yourself from negative energy.
Misery loves company. Don’t let someone else’s bad vibes in your space. If you’re the person with the bad vibes, go back over steps one, six, and nine.

18. Write down your own positive affirmations and repeat them to yourself.
I recently started doing this and it’s so important to speak life back into yourself.

19. Date yourself.
Take yourself to a movie or out to dinner. Get back in-tune with yourself.

20. Take a nap.
I don’t care what anyone says, naps make everything better.

Do you have any self care tips? Leave a comment down below!


Hi, I’m Chantal. I’m a mom of two, self proclaimed naturalista, and Author of Growing Girls With Curls: Short Stories For Girls of Color. Being a mom is hard. Pair that with being a single, black, millennial in America and it’s a whole different monster. Feel free to join my mailing list and follow along as I blog through this crazy thing called life.

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  1. LaTasha
    April 3, 2019 / 9:30 pm

    Gawdddd I needed this. Thanks for sharing!! Your blog literally is what I’m going through right now šŸ˜©

    • Chantal
      April 4, 2019 / 8:23 am

      Lol thank you! Iā€™m glad I could help!!

  2. Mouna
    February 15, 2019 / 9:01 pm

    Great tips. For me, music takes me places I want to be. Away from the craziness.
    A nice cup of tea also cools me down.

  3. Tiffany Barry
    February 15, 2019 / 5:29 pm

    I’ve totally been there! I especially love putting on movies I know will make me cry (Braveheart every single time, lol) and sitting down with a good romance novel. Sometimes I just need to spend some time with a character who doubts herself and eventually gets a happy ending.

    • Chantal
      February 15, 2019 / 12:24 pm

      Thank you for reading, Jennifer!!

  4. Renee
    February 13, 2019 / 12:09 pm

    In my motherhood journey I am just now learning how important self-care is! This is such a true post! Thank you for sharing.

    • Chantal
      February 15, 2019 / 12:24 pm

      Thank you for reading, Renee!

  5. February 13, 2019 / 12:05 pm

    I always go first for reading and spa at home (hot bath that is) to boost my spirit šŸ˜‰ Lovely list you’ve got here indeed, which one is your all-time favourite?

    • Chantal
      February 15, 2019 / 12:25 pm

      My all time favorite is definitely taking a nap lol.