Confessions Of An Anxious Black Girl

I’ve always been open and honest about my mental health issues. For those who don’t know, I have an anxiety disorder. I also struggle with depression and unresolved daddy issues. Mentally, I have a lot going on 90 percent of the time. If I had to measure my pain level on any given day, I’d say I’m always at an eight. I’m always stressed and worried about something. There’s always a problem that I have to solve on my own. My personality is so strong that people often assume that I’m angry. Reality is I’m overwhelmed, anxious, and tired.

I see a lot of posts on social media of people romanticizing anxiety and depression, and it’s weird. People die from both every single day. There are so many people who don’t seek the help that they need because social media has made it look cool to be depressed. It’s now cool to have anxiety, and it’s cool to be bipolar. Let me be clear, HAVING A MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT COOL. It’s not something you use for likes and attention either. People really struggle with this stuff daily, and there’s a fine line between trying to raise awareness and trying to gain attention.

Sometimes I wonder how the people who make these posts and comments would feel if the shoe were on the other foot. How would they feel if they were constantly anxious and worried? How would they feel if they couldn’t explain to people what the problem actually is? Would they keep posting on social media, or would they put action to words and actually check on the people around them?

Depression and anxiety is not one size fits all, no mental illness is. All it really takes is 60 seconds to stop, look, and listen to the people around you. The signs aren’t always the same, but they’re always there.