Is there really a such thing as a perfect mother? Social media has taken mom bashing to an all time high. Everyone thinks that their way is THE way. Feed your kids this, don’t let your kids do that. I’m here to tell you that there is no right way to parent. How do I know?? I’ve just been winging it for the last six years, and my girls are still happy and healthy. Here’s a list of mom confessions, from this not so perfect mama that will probably make some heads shake.
Confession #1: I NEVER wanted kids
. . . but here I am, rockin it !
Confession #2: I don’t always comb my girl’s hair.
Truth be told, I rarely comb my own. I just spritz it with water and go about my day.
Confession #3: I can’t cook.
Can’t as in I have no interest in learning. I know how to prepare the basics well enough to make sure my kids aren’t starving, but that’s it. Thank goodness Publix keeps cereal on the weekly BOGO list.
Confession #4: I don’t censor my music in the car.
Pretty girls LOVE Trap Music and this mom is no different.
Confession #5: I may be the only mom that doesn’t mind my girls watching Caillou.
He whines and gets into stuff like any other four year old. I don’t see the problem.
Confession #6: My girl’s know how to use the word “ratchet”
. . . I may or may not call people, places, and things ratchet in front of them.
Confession #7: My girls have NEVER eaten anything organic or gluten free.
And guess what, they’re still alive and healthy.
Confession #8: I’m not above fighting other adults and children over my girls.
Overprotective much?? I will not play with anyone about them.
Confession #9: I once had to choose between dropping my Iphone or my 10 month old . . .
Courtlynn got right back up without a tear, or a scratch.
Confession #10: My girls love watching Child’s Play.
I tried to explain to them that Chucky isn’t very nice, but they see him as a doll and thinks he’s cute. Who am I to tell them different?
Confession #11: My kid’s get candy everyday.
They are allowed to get one, sometimes two pieces out of the candy bucket everyday. No cavities or silver caps yet.
Confession #12: Once upon a time, my six year old wasn’t scared of the dark.
Until I ruined that by letting her watch Doris get possessed by angry spirits in the Ouija Movie.
Confession #13: I often pretend to use the bathroom.
Surely, I’m not the only mom that sits on the tub playing Candy Crush. Those few moments to myself bring me joy.
Confession #14: I throw my kid’s crafts away when they’re not paying attention.
I have a wall for Aubrey to hang her most prized drawings and crafts on. If it doesn’t make it to the wall, it goes in the trash.
Confession #15: Halloween was last Tuesday . . .
I took all of the girl’s king sized candy and told them that the “Zombie Principal” must’ve eaten it.
Confession #16: Listerine isn’t just for cleaning your mouth out.
My youngest dropped her new toothbrush on the floor. I ran it under hot water and poured Listerine over it to kill the bacteria. She’s still using it.
Confession #17: I have to stay away from the beer aisles in the grocery store.
Why?? Because my three year old yells “those are big boy drinks” as loud as she can. You can thank her father for that one.
Confession #18: Tablets are my girl’s best friends.
IDC, IDC, IDC . . . The Nick Jr App and Finger Family Song entertains them for HOURS while I get work done.
Confession #19: I told my girls that Santa isn’t real.
Sorry, not sorry. I spend too much money on Christmas gifts, for someone else to get the credit.
Confession #20: Speaking of Zombie Principal (look it up on Youtube kids) . . .
I now use her to get my three year old to stop raising hell in my apt. I don’t spank her, I just tell her the Zombie Principal is coming to get her. It’s mean, but effective.
For the not so perfect mothers out there, this one is for you. Feel free to share your own mom confessions in the comment section.